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Posted on in Divorce

Schaumburg family lawyer

When children are young, birthday parties are a way to make them feel special, with family and friends in attendance. However, after a divorce, celebrating a child’s birthday may feel like a complicated and daunting task. Your child deserves to have a great day, but seeing your ex-spouse and being reminded of your divorce may not be the best situation for everyone involved. You may also feel increased pressure to make things perfect for your child, especially if you are recently divorced.

To start, your parenting plan may have all the answers. You might have communicated what to do for family birthdays in your divorce agreement. A parenting plan dictates which parent a child spends time with and when. Maybe that was a while ago, and things have changed, or it was not included at all. 

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Schaumburg Parenting Plan Lawyer

With New Year’s and the holiday season now in the rearview mirror, children will soon go back to school. Winter break is a great time to enjoy days with your children and celebrate together. With your child being off from school for multiple weeks, hopefully your parenting plan worked sufficiently for you and your ex-spouse as you navigated the packed schedule. 

Parenting plans should be formulated during the initial divorce process. They detail when a child gets to spend time with each parent and provide instructions for situations like extracurricular activities, holidays, and day-to-day life, such as exchanges of parenting time and a child's educational needs.

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Arlington Heights divorce lawyer back to school“What did you do this summer?” This question is often asked when children go back to school, but for some children, summer was not all pool parties and playgrounds. For a child whose parents got a divorce over the summer, this question can be intimidating and stressful. A child who has divorced parents can exhibit certain behaviors and symptoms in school which can affect their education if not handled properly. The logistics of having a child in school can be complicated for any family, and a family with divorced parents can experience more stress and trouble than others. However, by following these tips, you can help your child’s school year go more smoothly:

1. Determine Who Will Pay for School Supplies

A new school year means new school clothes, shoes, uniforms, backpacks, and lunch boxes--not to mention the long list of school supplies. These costs add up quickly, so you should determine how they will be divided between you and your ex. If you already have a preset arrangement, stick to that. If not, dividing the cost in half is usually a good way to meet your child’s needs without causing conflict.

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Schaumburg divorce attorney parent child issuesWhen parents decide to divorce, both they and their children may have difficulty adjusting to the major changes they will be experiencing in their lives. Some growing pains are inevitable as children become accustomed to dividing their time between two separate homes. However, parents can work to provide a good environment for their children by avoiding the following mistakes:

  • Involving children in conflict - Even though parents will likely not get along very well during divorce, it is important to avoid arguing in front of children or exposing them to disagreements. This can be very damaging to children, so parents should work to resolve their disputes when children are not present.
  • Inconsistency - Parents should work to maintain consistent rules and schedules at both their houses, which will provide children with a sense of security and help them avoid feeling anxious about what to expect. 
  • Competition - Parents should avoid trying to win their children’s affection by overindulging them or giving them everything they ask for. It is also important for a parent to avoid speaking negatively about the other parent or blaming the other parent for the divorce.
  • Sending messages - Parents should communicate with each other directly rather than sending messages through their children. Making children act as messengers can put them in the middle of conflict and cause them anxiety.
  • Spying - While a parent may be tempted to ask children about their former spouse’s emotional state, the condition of their home, or their dating activities, it is important to avoid doing so, since this can place a great deal of stress on children.
  • Forcing children to choose - Children should never be asked to make decisions about where they should live or choose sides in parental conflicts. This places children in a difficult position, and it can lead to a great deal of emotional difficulty for everyone involved. Parents should work together to make decisions or reach compromises without involving their children.

Contact a Palatine Divorce Attorney

During divorce, it is important to put children’s best interests first, and both parents should work together to resolve their disagreements in a way that creates a good foundation for an ongoing co-parenting relationship. At Anderson & Associates, P.C., we can work with you to resolve your divorce disputes through negotiation or mediation, and if necessary, we will advocate for your parental rights in court. Contact a Rolling Meadows divorce lawyer at 847-995-9999 to schedule a free consultation.

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Palatine divorce parenting attorneyWhen a couple’s relationship breaks down and they decide to end their marriage, they are likely to experience a number of strong emotions which may make it difficult to remain civil with one another. However, when spouses have children together, they should remember that divorce is not the end of their relationship, since they will both be parents of their children for the rest of their lives. By taking steps to establish a good foundation for co-parenting during divorce, they will be able to provide a good environment for their children for years to come. Here are some helpful tips for working together with your ex to co-parent your children:

  1. Maintain consistency between both homes - Even if your style of parenting is different from your ex-spouse, it is best for children if their parents are on the same page about issues such as rules for behavior, school expectations, and methods of discipline. Work together with your ex-spouse to find parenting strategies you can agree on.
  1. Stick to regular routines - Kids need consistency in their lives, so it is important to follow regular schedules for meal times, bedtimes, and other activities when they are staying with you. This structure will give them stability and reduce their anxiety about what to expect when moving between homes.
  1. Communicate with each other - Make sure the other parent knows what is going on in your children’s lives and is up to date on their educational and medical needs. Let them know if you need their help with anything, if children have a major event or accomplishment to share, or if there is anything else they need to be aware of.
  1. Be flexible - Court-ordered parenting time schedules are important, but either you or your ex may want to deviate from the schedule from time to time, especially when children are involved in events or activities. Be open to accommodating these requests while putting children’s needs first.
  1. Encourage your kids to have a good relationship with the other parent - While you may not have positive feelings about your ex-spouse, they are still your children’s parent, and you should allow and encourage them to maintain a positive relationship with each other. 
  1. Keep kids out of conflicts - Disagreements with your ex are likely, but you should do everything you can to avoid arguing in front of your children. Never ask children to take sides, avoid disparaging the other parent in front of them, and do not use them to send messages to the other parent.
  1. Take care of yourself - Co-parenting means that you will have some free time when your children are with their other parent. Using this time to exercise, eat healthy food, socialize with friends, participate in activities you enjoy, and take care of your own needs will help you be the best parent you can be for them.

Contact a Barrington Divorce Lawyer

If you need help resolving the outstanding issues in your divorce, the skilled, compassionate attorneys of Anderson & Associates, P.C. can protect your rights and advocate for your children’s best interests as you work to reach an agreement that will provide a foundation for ongoing co-parenting. Contact a Schaumburg divorce attorney today at 847-995-9999 to schedule a free consultation.

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Arlington Heights divorce attorney, order of protection, domestic violence, parenting issues, parental responsibilitiesWhen parents end their marriage, they must continue work together to co-parent their children after divorce. However, their parental roles and responsibilities can be complicated if domestic violence occurred during the marriage.

While it is essential to protect the safety of spouses and children who have suffered violence or abuse, it is also important for children to have a relationship with both parents. But how well are parents able to work together following violent situations?

A recent study from researchers at the University of Illinois looked at mothers who had experienced domestic violence during the first year after their divorce to see whether they had any issues or conflicts while acting as co-parents with their ex-spouse. 

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