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Arlington Heights divorce lawyer

While divorce is difficult on the adults involved, it can be especially traumatic for the children a divorcing couple shares. How you handle the divorce can have a lasting impact on your children’s lives.  

One of the biggest concerns parents have when getting a divorce is when they will see their children. In Illinois, there is no longer “custody.” Parental responsibilities are determined and parenting time is decided and maintained through a parenting plan. A parenting plan determines which parent the child spends time with and when. Other details such as school pickups, holidays, and extracurricular activities will also be covered in your parenting plan. 

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Posted on in Divorce

Schaumburg divorce lawyer parents children holidaysThe leaves are starting to change colors, and now that it is October, your child is likely to be gearing up to go trick or treating this year. If you have recently gotten a divorce or are in the midst of the divorce process, holidays will be handled differently than when you were married. However, planning for successful co-parenting will ensure that your child has as good a time as they did in previous years. 

Trick or Treat?

While your child may choose to dress as Batman or their favorite Disney princess, you and your ex-partner should be completely transparent about planning family holidays. Communicating details and keeping your child out of any crossfire will allow him or her to focus on getting candy and not on dealing with mom and dad’s separation.  

If your parenting plan does not account for Halloween, it is important to communicate with your ex before the big night and make sure your plans are clear. Scrambling to make plans the night before Halloween will put unnecessary stress on everyone. 

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4 Tips for Back-to-School Time for Newly-Divorced Parents

Arlington Heights divorce lawyer back to school“What did you do this summer?” This question is often asked when children go back to school, but for some children, summer was not all pool parties and playgrounds. For a child whose parents got a divorce over the summer, this question can be intimidating and stressful. A child who has divorced parents can exhibit certain behaviors and symptoms in school which can affect their education if not handled properly. The logistics of having a child in school can be complicated for any family, and a family with divorced parents can experience more stress and trouble than others. However, by following these tips, you can help your child’s school year go more smoothly:

1. Determine Who Will Pay for School Supplies

A new school year means new school clothes, shoes, uniforms, backpacks, and lunch boxes--not to mention the long list of school supplies. These costs add up quickly, so you should determine how they will be divided between you and your ex. If you already have a preset arrangement, stick to that. If not, dividing the cost in half is usually a good way to meet your child’s needs without causing conflict.

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3 Tips For Successful Co-Parenting After an Illinois Divorce

Palatine child custody lawyerA new and increasingly popular trend for child custody arrangements after a divorce is co-parenting, in which both the mother and father play an active role in their child’s life, even though they are no longer together. This ensures that children can still have close relationships with both of their parents after divorce. Joint custody arrangements can be exhausting and riddled with stress, but co-parenting arrangements can benefit children greatly. These tips can help you become a great co-parent after divorce:

Aim For Consistency

Divorce can affect children just as much as it affects adults. Now that both parents are not around at the same time, and the child may be moving from household to household, consistency is key for raising your children. You should try to maintain the same rules, expectations, disciplines, and schedules in both parents’ homes to avoid confusion. Rules about homework, curfews, and things the child is and is not allowed to do should be kept the same, along with the consequences for breaking those rules.

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What Is Parental Alienation, and How Does it Affect Divorce Cases?

Barrington divorce attorney parental alienationChildren deserve to have a good relationship with both their parents, but this can sometimes be difficult after parents decide to divorce. Children often struggle to understand the reason for the end of their parents’ marriage, and they can have difficulty adjusting to dividing their time between two homes. Unfortunately, the emotional distress they experience is sometimes made even worse when one parent attempts to negatively influence their children’s relationship with their other parent. This is known as parental alienation, and it is important for divorcing parents to recognize when it is occurring and understand their legal options.

Forms of Parental Alienation

Parental alienation occurs whenever a parent attempts to influence their children’s feelings about the other parent, and it can take a variety of forms, including:

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7 Tips for Successful Co-Parenting During and After Divorce

Palatine divorce parenting attorneyWhen a couple’s relationship breaks down and they decide to end their marriage, they are likely to experience a number of strong emotions which may make it difficult to remain civil with one another. However, when spouses have children together, they should remember that divorce is not the end of their relationship, since they will both be parents of their children for the rest of their lives. By taking steps to establish a good foundation for co-parenting during divorce, they will be able to provide a good environment for their children for years to come. Here are some helpful tips for working together with your ex to co-parent your children:

  1. Maintain consistency between both homes - Even if your style of parenting is different from your ex-spouse, it is best for children if their parents are on the same page about issues such as rules for behavior, school expectations, and methods of discipline. Work together with your ex-spouse to find parenting strategies you can agree on.
  1. Stick to regular routines - Kids need consistency in their lives, so it is important to follow regular schedules for meal times, bedtimes, and other activities when they are staying with you. This structure will give them stability and reduce their anxiety about what to expect when moving between homes.
  1. Communicate with each other - Make sure the other parent knows what is going on in your children’s lives and is up to date on their educational and medical needs. Let them know if you need their help with anything, if children have a major event or accomplishment to share, or if there is anything else they need to be aware of.
  1. Be flexible - Court-ordered parenting time schedules are important, but either you or your ex may want to deviate from the schedule from time to time, especially when children are involved in events or activities. Be open to accommodating these requests while putting children’s needs first.
  1. Encourage your kids to have a good relationship with the other parent - While you may not have positive feelings about your ex-spouse, they are still your children’s parent, and you should allow and encourage them to maintain a positive relationship with each other. 
  1. Keep kids out of conflicts - Disagreements with your ex are likely, but you should do everything you can to avoid arguing in front of your children. Never ask children to take sides, avoid disparaging the other parent in front of them, and do not use them to send messages to the other parent.
  1. Take care of yourself - Co-parenting means that you will have some free time when your children are with their other parent. Using this time to exercise, eat healthy food, socialize with friends, participate in activities you enjoy, and take care of your own needs will help you be the best parent you can be for them.

Contact a Barrington Divorce Lawyer

If you need help resolving the outstanding issues in your divorce, the skilled, compassionate attorneys of Anderson & Associates, P.C. can protect your rights and advocate for your children’s best interests as you work to reach an agreement that will provide a foundation for ongoing co-parenting. Contact a Schaumburg divorce attorney today at 847-995-9999 to schedule a free consultation.

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Schaumburg divorce lawyer, divorced parent, holidays and divorce, parenting plan, parenting timeThe holiday season can be a magical time, offering chances for families to come together, give gifts, celebrate traditions, and be thankful for everything they have. Unfortunately, this can make the season difficult for parents who have recently experienced divorce, since they will likely be coping with loneliness, struggling with change, and remembering the good times they had with their families in the past.

While the season can be emotionally challenging, divorced parents can make the most of the holidays by following these tips:

  1. Understand your parenting plan - Your final divorce decree will include a schedule for parenting time, not just describing which parent children will spend time with on an everyday basis, but specifying how holidays and school vacations will be divided between parents. Knowing what your parenting plan says will help you avoid any conflicts with your ex-spouse with regard to whom children will be spending holiday time.

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