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While divorce is difficult on the adults involved, it can be especially traumatic for the children a divorcing couple shares. How you handle the divorce can have a lasting impact on your children’s lives.  

One of the biggest concerns parents have when getting a divorce is when they will see their children. In Illinois, there is no longer “custody.” Parental responsibilities are determined and parenting time is decided and maintained through a parenting plan. A parenting plan determines which parent the child spends time with and when. Other details such as school pickups, holidays, and extracurricular activities will also be covered in your parenting plan. 

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Palatine divorce attorneyDivorce can be a financially draining process, but it can also take an emotional toll. It takes a long time for a couple to build a life together, and no matter how many problems you and your spouse have, divorce is the end of that relationship. No matter who initiates the divorce, the emotional and physical separation is tough on both parties. Here are some tips for taking care of yourself while going through a divorce and after the divorce process has been completed: 

  • Follow a Routine - Having consistency during this time of uncertainty will help you carry on. Even though your marriage is officially ending, it is important to keep living your life and participating in activities you enjoy. Do not stop going to your book club or getting drinks with friends after work on Fridays. The only thing that has changed is your relationship status. 
  • Stay Healthy - If you do not already exercise regularly, now is the perfect time to start. Physical activity improves your mood and keeps your body strong. Even if it is just a walk around the block, keeping your blood flowing can help lift your spirits. Do not forget to keep feeding your body good things, too. There is nothing wrong with comfort food, but do not let cheesy and greasy foods become the majority of what you are eating. 
  • Be Kind to Yourself - It is very easy to blame yourself for the end of your marriage, but you are not the only reason for the divorce. People change over time, and sometimes their goals do not align with those changes. It is completely normal to have ups and downs in a relationship, but if the downs are bad enough, it is okay to admit that a divorce was the best option for the both of you. 
  • Reflect - Even though your breakup has a name with a capital “D,” at the end of the day it is still a breakup. Take time to mourn the relationship. It is sad that your marriage ended, and it is perfectly acceptable to feel that way. Think about some of the positive things that can come from your divorce, like a chance for a fresh start. For example, you now have more time to spend with your friends or start a new hobby

Contact a Schaumburg Divorce Attorney Today

If, despite the love you and your spouse once shared, you cannot make your marriage work, you should be sure to understand your legal options. Contact a Rolling Meadows divorce lawyer from Anderson and Associates, P.C. to discuss the divorce process. Call 847-995-9999 to arrange a free consultation.

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Working With Your Ex-Spouse to Parent Your Children After Divorce

Rolling Meadows divorce lawyer co-parentingIt is normal for relationships to change, but it is when they change too much that couples may consider getting a divorce. Not all married couples decide to have children, but if they do, a divorce can become much more complicated. You may be able to resolve the various legal issues that must be addressed during divorce, but when it comes to the relationship with your ex, that is up to you. It is, however, in the best interests of your children to remain civil with each other while raising them together. 

Positive Relationships in Sole or Joint Custody Situations

Following divorce, parents may have joint custody of their children, or one parent may have sole custody. With sole custody, one parent is granted primary responsibility of the child, and the other has visitation rights (known as parenting time in Illinois). With joint custody, both parents share decision-making responsibility when raising their children. 

Either arrangement requires communication between you and your ex. These suggestions can aid in improving your relationship as you work together to raise your children:

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Posted on in Divorce
4 Ways to Move On After Your Divorce

Barrington divorce attorneyBreaking up is hard to do, and when you have been married and spent years of your life with another person, ending your relationship can be even harder. Divorce can leave many people with feelings of depression, anxiety, and loneliness, but there are things you can do to help yourself through the transition period after a divorce:

1. Allow Yourself to Grieve

This is probably the most important step to healing after a divorce. While you are not mourning the loss of your spouse’s life, you are mourning the loss of a relationship. Your marriage was a very significant relationship, and ending it will require you to completely reconfigure your life. Even if you were the one who wanted and initiated the divorce, you still should allow yourself time to fully comprehend the changes you are experiencing.

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5 Financial Mistakes You Should Avoid During Divorce

Palatine finances and divorce attorneyOne of the most common things people worry about when they are going through a divorce is how it will affect their finances, and for good reason. According to a study conducted by the U.S. Government Accountability Office, women experienced a significant drop in their income after divorce--nearly 41 percent, on average. This can be due to a number of factors, but there are dozens of mistakes you can make when getting a divorce that could negatively impact your finances. Here are some common mistakes you should be sure to avoid:

1. Not Being Prepared

One of the most common mistakes that people make with their finances during divorce is not being prepared for the divorce itself. Divorce is a long and demanding process, so being prepared is crucial. Before you begin the process, you should consult with both financial experts and an experienced attorney to make sure you are making the best decisions.

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8 Steps to Preparing for an Illinois Divorce

Barrington divorce attorneyGetting a divorce is a challenging time in many adults’ lives. Not only are there things to settle financially and assets to divide, divorce brings much emotional confusion into the picture. Once you have decided that a divorce is your best option, you should become prepared for the long and winding journey that is the divorce process. These 8 things can help you get a head start on your divorce even before the legal process gets started:

1. Determine the Type of Divorce You Want

Often, people think that a divorce is a divorce. In reality, there are many different types of divorce. In Illinois, the types of divorce recognized are:

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Tips for Taking Care of Yourself During and After Divorce

Rolling Meadows divorce lawyerEnding a long-term relationship is difficult, and it is understandable to feel sorrow and anxiety during this time. During divorce and in its immediate aftermath, you may struggle to adjust to the major changes in your life. However, by practicing good self-care, you can not only survive your divorce but thrive in the next phase of your life. Here are some tips for caring for yourself during and after your divorce:

  • Focus on the positive - You are likely grieving the end of your relationship, and this can lead to negative feelings about what you have lost. However, by taking time to remember what you do have and the good things in your life, you can build a more positive attitude, put painful experiences in the past, and move on to a better future.
  • Establish a routine - It is understandable to feel adrift and unsure about the future during divorce, so following a standard daily routine can give you a sense of order in your life. This can also help avoid having too much spare time to wallow in negative emotions, which can lead to depression.
  • Live a healthy lifestyle - People often neglect their own health when going through a major life change, but getting exercise and eating healthy foods can work wonders for your mood and overall well-being. While you may be tempted to cut loose and try to enjoy your newly-single life, be sure to practice moderation and avoid participating in harmful activities.
  • Do things you enjoy - As a single person, you will likely have more time to participate in hobbies, sports, or other activities, either on your own or with others. This is a great time to learn a new skill, explore your community, volunteer for a local charity, or enjoy other new experiences.
  • Reach out to others - Friends and family can offer invaluable support when you are going through changes in your life, and your divorce provides a good chance to spend time with people you care about or reach out to those you may have lost touch with.

Contact an Arlington Heights Divorce Lawyer

If you are considering ending your marriage, or if you have already become involved in the divorce process, the experienced, compassionate attorneys of Anderson & Associates, P.C. can answer your questions and work with you to reach a positive resolution to your divorce. Contact our Palatine divorce attorneys today at 847-995-9999 to arrange a free consultation.

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Posted on in Divorce
Surviving Valentine’s Day After Divorce

Barrington divorce attorney Valentine's DayAfter the end of a long-term relationship, you are likely ready to move on with your life and leave the emotional pain of your breakup behind. Unfortunately, this can be difficult to do during the days and weeks surrounding February 14th. As a holiday dedicated to love and relationships, Valentine’s Day can seem inescapable, with the products on store shelves, radio and TV advertisements, and other people’s plans for romantic celebrations all serving as reminders of your newly-single status.

If you have been recently divorced or are in the midst of the divorce process, Valentine’s Day does not have to be a negative time of the year. Here are some strategies for surviving the holiday during and after divorce:

  • Spend time with friends - Getting together with other single people you know is a great way to have fun on Valentine’s Day, whether you are going out for dinner and drinks or having a party at your home.
  • Take time for yourself - If you do not feel like being social, there are plenty of ways you can cope with loneliness during this season, including buying a gift for yourself, spending time at the gym, getting a massage, taking a class to further your career, or participating in activities and hobbies you enjoy.
  • Focus on your kids - If you have children, you can work on creating new holiday traditions with them, such as cooking a favorite meal, working on crafts, playing games, or watching a favorite movie.
  • Avoid social media - Facebook, Instagram, and other social networks can be a minefield around Valentine’s Day, with pictures of people’s celebrations and expressions of love reminding you of the end of your relationship. If you want to avoid these reminders, it is best to refrain from using social media altogether, and you should definitely avoid checking in on your ex-spouse’s activities, since this can make it harder to heal and move on.
  • Volunteer - Giving back to the community is a great way to get your mind off your own troubles and create positive memories that you can associate with the holiday. There are a wide variety of activities that you can participate in, including volunteering at a soup kitchen, homeless shelter, animal shelter, children’s hospital, or nursing home.
  • Take your time with new relationships - Rather than rushing to find a new partner, focus on taking care of yourself and healing the wounds of your breakup. This will help you avoid repeating the same mistakes a second time.

Contact a Rolling Meadows Divorce Attorney

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Schaumburg divorce lawyer, holidays and divorce, recently divorced, divorce tips, divorce trendsThe holidays can be a stressful time for anyone, but this season is often especially difficult for people who have recently ended a long term relationship. Divorce will require major changes in a person’s life, upending their living situation, their finances, and their relationships with family and friends.

The emotional fallout of these changes and the loneliness that can come with being newly single can make it hard to cope during what is supposed to be a happy time of the year.

If you have recently divorced or are in the process of ending your marriage, these tips can help you get through the holiday season and begin the new year on the right foot:

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