When getting a divorce, one issue commonly discussed is which parent a child spends time with and when in the form of a parenting plan. Parenting plans break down custody and visitation, or parenting time in regard to separated parents, from daily schedules to special circumstances like holidays. 

After a divorce, other family members such as grandparents may want to spend time with a child as well. The relationship a parent may have with the grandparents of their child can change after a divorce. A parent’s rights come first, and each state has its own legislation regarding people who are not parents of the child. In Illinois, grandparents may have the right to visit with a grandchild, depending on the circumstances, after a divorce. This is also the case for stepparents, great-grandparents, and siblings.

The topic of divorce is difficult for many couples. The relationship may have become one-sided or perhaps both spouses are unhappy. The best way to convey these feelings is to communicate about the status of your relationship, but that often does not occur until it is too late to save a marriage.

Many spouses first learn of their partner’s intention to divorce them when they are told they have already filed a Petition for a Dissolution of Marriage. This is the first step in the divorce process and your spouse is required by law to alert you that a petition has been filed with the court. Official notification by legal notice is typically mailed or delivered by a process server. In the event you cannot be located, a notice is posted in a newspaper of general circulation in your area. 

With the new year on the way, people always look for ways to improve themselves for the upcoming calendar year. Some may choose to eat better, work out more, or pick up a new hobby.

After a divorce, it often takes some time to adjust and get used to no longer being with your spouse, especially if the marriage lasted for many years, but the new year brings a fresh opportunity to reinvent yourself. You can do this at any time after the divorce, but with millions of other Americans setting goals to better themselves, you might feel inspired. If you have friends who set resolutions as well, it can be helpful to have them as your support network.

No matter what holiday you celebrate this time of year, if you are recently divorced with children, it can be difficult to let go of your ex-spouse and the times you had. Family holidays like Christmas typically increase the level of communication between you, and if this is your first holiday season after your split or divorce, planning festivities may feel like a daunting task. Your parenting plan is a great place to start. 

A parenting plan should provide a breakdown of all important holidays. School-aged children have extra time off this time of year, so your plan should reflect that in a manner that is fair to both parents. Splitting a child’s time off and allowing each parent to have either Christmas or Christmas Eve is a good way to go. 

Although it has become more common for women to keep their maiden name for personal or professional reasons, taking a spouse’s last name when you get married is still a common practice. The tradition originates from old 19th century English law, where women were required to assume their husband’s surname. Today, 20 percent of women in the United States retain their birth names, but what happens when a member of the 80 percent decides to get a divorce? 

Since the 1980s, the divorce rate in the United States has decreased. Today, for first-time marriages, it sits at around 45 percent. When divorcing your spouse, a request to change back to your maiden name should be included in your divorce petition. This only concerns a switch to your birth name. A new request should be filed if you wish to change your name to something else.

Enlisting children in extracurricular activities builds confidence and opens doors to different interests. Participating in music, sports, or clubs as a child can create lifelong skills and passions. 

A break in the family, such as a divorce, can make life feel uncertain for your children, and create conflicts between parents. Perhaps one parent thinks the violin lessons are going nowhere, or horseback riding lessons are too expensive, while the other disagrees.

Did you know married couples with teenage daughters are more likely to get divorced than those without? Still, it is much more than the occasional screams and door slams from a teenage girl that leads to a divorce.

Both male and female teens go through dramatic changes during those years, and divorce can turn things even more traumatic. This change may pile up on everything else they are feeling. 

Thanksgiving starts the holiday season that recently divorced couples sometimes dread. When children are involved, holidays like Thanksgiving that are family based often get complicated. While your parenting plan likely covers holidays and other special dates, that does not mean it will be an easy time emotionally. 

Cooking for a large group of people is intimidating enough. Here are some tips for surviving your first Thanksgiving after a divorce:

Illinois is an equal distribution state, which means when assets are split between two parties in a divorce, the judge determines what is a fair division. This does not mean assets are split 50/50, however, and numerous factors are considered, including:

• Length of the marriage.
• How much each spouse makes.
• Health and age.
• Standard of living.

If the home you and your spouse lived in was marital property, one person will typically be granted the family home. This is usually the spouse who has primary residential care of any children under the allocation of parental responsibilities (formerly called custody). For the other spouse, this means finding a new residence. 

When signing a prenup agreement, it may feel like divorce is the inevitable conclusion, but if a couple gets divorced without one, the parties go to court to decide the division of assets if mutual decisions cannot be made. Signing a prenup before marriage addresses many issues a couple may face if divorce occurs, as long as no one tries to break the agreement.

What is a Prenuptial Agreement? 

A prenup is an agreement two people make before they are married, which settles financial and other arrangements in case the marriage fails. A person might suggest getting a prenuptial agreement if:

• He or she makes significantly more than the other partner.
• Both are business owners or entrepreneurs.
• One person has a high amount of debt.
• They have been married before and/or have children. 

Prenups are best known for protecting premarital assets. Without a prenup, the financial burdens of your spouse may become yours, even after divorce. They are also used to determine alimony. Because they are private agreements, prenup terms can be tied to how long a marriage lasts. Clauses can be added such as a confidentiality to protect the details of your divorce or marriage from publication. 

Divorce can be a financially draining process, but it can also take an emotional toll. It takes a long time for a couple to build a life together, and no matter how many problems you and your spouse have, divorce is the end of that relationship. No matter who initiates the divorce, the emotional and physical separation is tough on both parties. Here are some tips for taking care of yourself while going through a divorce and after the divorce process has been completed: 

• Follow a Routine - Having consistency during this time of uncertainty will help you carry on. Even though your marriage is officially ending, it is important to keep living your life and participating in activities you enjoy. Do not stop going to your book club or getting drinks with friends after work on Fridays. The only thing that has changed is your relationship status. 
• Stay Healthy - If you do not already exercise regularly, now is the perfect time to start. Physical activity improves your mood and keeps your body strong. Even if it is just a walk around the block, keeping your blood flowing can help lift your spirits. Do not forget to keep feeding your body good things, too. There is nothing wrong with comfort food, but do not let cheesy and greasy foods become the majority of what you are eating. 
• Be Kind to Yourself - It is very easy to blame yourself for the end of your marriage, but you are not the only reason for the divorce. People change over time, and sometimes their goals do not align with those changes. It is completely normal to have ups and downs in a relationship, but if the downs are bad enough, it is okay to admit that a divorce was the best option for the both of you. 
• Reflect - Even though your breakup has a name with a capital “D,” at the end of the day it is still a breakup. Take time to mourn the relationship. It is sad that your marriage ended, and it is perfectly acceptable to feel that way. Think about some of the positive things that can come from your divorce, like a chance for a fresh start. For example, you now have more time to spend with your friends or start a new hobby

Contact a Schaumburg Divorce Attorney Today

If, despite the love you and your spouse once shared, you cannot make your marriage work, you should be sure to understand your legal options. Contact a Rolling Meadows divorce lawyer from Anderson and Associates, P.C. to discuss the divorce process. Call 847-995-9999 to arrange a free consultation.

Source:

Sometimes, when someone chooses to get a divorce, their spouse refuses to agree to the dissolution of their marriage. This may be due to denial or an attempt to control a spouse in the case of domestic abuse, or, in some cases, the couple may have separated, and a spouse cannot be located. If your spouse is refusing to cooperate in your divorce case, you should be sure to understand your legal options.

Irreconcilable Differences

In Illinois, irreconcilable differences are the only recognized grounds for divorce. This means that the couple is not able to solve the issues in their marriage. It is considered a no-fault ground for divorce, which means that neither spouse is to blame for the deterioration of the marriage. If a couple lives separately for at least six months, this is a presumption of irreconcilable differences.  

Some common reasons a spouse may refuse to agree to a divorce include:

The leaves are starting to change colors, and now that it is October, your child is likely to be gearing up to go trick or treating this year. If you have recently gotten a divorce or are in the midst of the divorce process, holidays will be handled differently than when you were married. However, planning for successful co-parenting will ensure that your child has as good a time as they did in previous years. 

Trick or Treat?

While your child may choose to dress as Batman or their favorite Disney princess, you and your ex-partner should be completely transparent about planning family holidays. Communicating details and keeping your child out of any crossfire will allow him or her to focus on getting candy and not on dealing with mom and dad’s separation.  

If your parenting plan does not account for Halloween, it is important to communicate with your ex before the big night and make sure your plans are clear. Scrambling to make plans the night before Halloween will put unnecessary stress on everyone. 

When a married couple decides to get a divorce, their assets will be divided between them. In Illinois, this can be done between the two parties out of court, but if an agreement cannot be reached, then the court steps in with a system called equitable distribution. This system intends to divide properly fairly, but it does not mean that all assets are divided equally. Some of the factors used to determine how to divide marital property include:

• The distribution of wealth
• The length of the marriage
• The couple’s standard of living
• Future parental responsibility 
• The health, income, and age of the individuals 

With these factors, it is still important to take action before your divorce to protect yourself financially, because the outcomes of these decisions are often uncertain. 

Know Your Finances

Before the divorce process begins, it will help to learn as much as you can about your personal finances. Begin tracking how much you earn, how much you spend, and any future expenses. Start creating a budget focused around necessities such as food, shelter, and medical care for yourself and your children. Use previous statements, bank records, and records of expenses to plan for the future. All of this information will not only help you, but it can be used to demonstrate your financial needs to the court when dividing marital property. 

It is normal for relationships to change, but it is when they change too much that couples may consider getting a divorce. Not all married couples decide to have children, but if they do, a divorce can become much more complicated. You may be able to resolve the various legal issues that must be addressed during divorce, but when it comes to the relationship with your ex, that is up to you. It is, however, in the best interests of your children to remain civil with each other while raising them together. 

Positive Relationships in Sole or Joint Custody Situations

Following divorce, parents may have joint custody of their children, or one parent may have sole custody. With sole custody, one parent is granted primary responsibility of the child, and the other has visitation rights (known as parenting time in Illinois). With joint custody, both parents share decision-making responsibility when raising their children. 

Either arrangement requires communication between you and your ex. These suggestions can aid in improving your relationship as you work together to raise your children:

Getting a divorce is rarely an easy process, and it is further complicated when children are involved. A divorce with children brings up the topics of child custody (allocation of parental responsibilities), visitation (parenting time), and child support. By choosing the right attorney, you can alleviate the stress of planning your upcoming divorce while ensuring that your rights are protected as you and your ex-spouse plan for how to continue to raise your children together after the end of your marriage.

No matter the feelings between the parents, it is important to talk with children and discuss what divorce entails for your family. Depending on their emotional maturity, older children may have an easier time understanding divorce, but younger children often struggle to understand and adjust to the changes in their lives. Here are some guidelines for discussing divorce with children who are six years old or younger: 

Zero to 18 Months Old

A child this young barely has the developmental skills to form a proper sentence, let alone discuss or understand their parents’ divorce. However, children at this age can pick up on tension at home. Hold off on discussing the divorce in detail with children this young until they are older. Ease the stress on your infant by remaining consistent with them in your daily routines. This means taking care of yourself, ensuring that you will be able to continue to provide quality care for your infant during and after your divorce. 

Breaking up is hard to do, and when you have been married and spent years of your life with another person, ending your relationship can be even harder. Divorce can leave many people with feelings of depression, anxiety, and loneliness, but there are things you can do to help yourself through the transition period after a divorce:

1. Allow Yourself to Grieve

This is probably the most important step to healing after a divorce. While you are not mourning the loss of your spouse’s life, you are mourning the loss of a relationship. Your marriage was a very significant relationship, and ending it will require you to completely reconfigure your life. Even if you were the one who wanted and initiated the divorce, you still should allow yourself time to fully comprehend the changes you are experiencing.

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes...divorce? When you got married, you might have thought you would live happily ever after, but the truth is, divorce is not uncommon, especially in the United States. Though divorce happens for myriad reasons, and no one couple’s relationship is the same as the next, there are some interesting trends to note in divorce and marriage.

1. Divorce Rates Have Actually Decreased

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), marriage rates have actually decreased since 2000, when the rate per 1,000 people was about 8.2. In 2016, the U.S. marriage rate was at 6.9 per 1,000 people. Divorces have also been decreasing steadily since 2000, when the divorce rate was at 4.0 per 1,000 people. In 2016, the U.S. saw one of the lowest divorce rates ever at 3.2 per 1,000 people.

One of the most common things people worry about when they are going through a divorce is how it will affect their finances, and for good reason. According to a study conducted by the U.S. Government Accountability Office, women experienced a significant drop in their income after divorce--nearly 41 percent, on average. This can be due to a number of factors, but there are dozens of mistakes you can make when getting a divorce that could negatively impact your finances. Here are some common mistakes you should be sure to avoid:

1. Not Being Prepared

One of the most common mistakes that people make with their finances during divorce is not being prepared for the divorce itself. Divorce is a long and demanding process, so being prepared is crucial. Before you begin the process, you should consult with both financial experts and an experienced attorney to make sure you are making the best decisions.

Divorce is an emotionally daunting experience, but it can also be financially daunting, especially when it comes to the assets you own. Splitting your assets during divorce can be a lengthy process, and it can become frustrating if you and your ex-spouse get into bitter arguments about who gets what or how certain property should be allocated. Illinois law dictates that marital property is subject to equitable distribution, and non-marital property is not. In a nutshell, marital property includes any assets that were acquired during the marriage. It is important to understand how to divide certain assets, including the following types of marital property:

1. The House

The easiest way to divide this real estate asset is to sell your house and split the money. This works if neither spouse has a particular attachment to the home, and it offers an easier, less stressful way of dealing with what is often one of the most valuable marital assets. Before you sell your home, you should get the house appraised, ensuring that you know exactly what your property is worth.